“You can’t control the disease but you can control your life.”  Such is the case with Sergeant John Lopez, a retired Army paratrooper who was diagnosed with hemangiopericytoma this past May.  This soft tissue benign sarcoma, a form of cancer that aggressively develops in certain cells, left John’s brain swollen and rendered him unable to work. He had to leave his job as a contractor in Japan and return home to Fayetteville, NC, for additional tests and consequent treatments at UNC.

But this is not a story about John’s cancer, but a story about how controlling one’s life is just as powerful as the medical care he received at UNC. John and Ruth, his wife of 26 years, stayed at SECU Family house for seven weeks.  During their stay, John had surgery to remove the tumor and then underwent several weeks of radiation.  When I first met Ruth, she was busy in the kitchen speaking with some house guests. I thought she was a new volunteer because she seemed so comfortable in her temporary home.  In the ensuing weeks, both she and John became fixtures during meals, conversing with newly made friends, and helping out wherever they could.  Ruth became involved in a weekly knitting group that had been started by one of our many talented volunteers, Sharon Coop. Ruth and six other women learned how to knit and gained solace from the time spent together.

Before John and Ruth heard about SECU Family House, Ruth slept in their car to save money while John received his treatments.  Thanks to an alert hospital volunteer, John and Ruth were finally referred to Family House.  Ruth says, “You get close to people being here.  The atmosphere is relaxing.  You feel the warmth from the cleaning crew, volunteers and staff.”   She goes on to say that being at the House was a form of “therapy”—that a “connection” is made with the guests because they “understand each other.”  She and John collected several e-mail addresses and phone numbers before they went home to Fayetteville.

For John and Ruth, this has been a journey sustained by a strong faith and deep love for one another.  “We never go to bed angry.  We enjoy helping each other.  We feel blessed.”  They are in control of their lives in the face of adversity, while expressing thanks and gratitude for SECU Family House and the good life that they have.

A minister once told Sharon, “When you share pain, you share love,”and she has been sharing both with Family House guests.

Before she joined us as a volunteer, Sharon Coop (in purple in the center of the photo above) envisioned a need in Chapel Hill for a place like Family House. When she found out that the House was being built, she immediately knew that this is where she wanted to be.  Her past work as a home health nurse, spiritual director and Stephen minister had prepared her for it, and she has worked a weekly shift at the front desk since the House opened in March of 2008.

From that perch, she saw the need to create a unique environment of emotional and tangible support to some of Family House’s guests, so she started a “Prayer & Meditation” group that meets once a week at night.

Guests appreciated the opportunity to participate, and they supported each other, told their stories, laughed and cried together and were reminded of their church life at home.  Sharon facilitated the group, provided a weekly lesson, and offered the time and the space for sharing or quiet reflection.

As part of this special ministry, she provided a series of small flyers called “Care Notes” which covered various topics regarding illness.  These were made available for guests to take with them.  In addition, Sharon and friends, including those in her church group, knit pocket shawls (pocket-sized versions of prayer shawls) for guests to keep as a reminder of the support and encouragement offered by the anonymous knitters to family members in crisis.

Realizing that, for many people, knitting serves as both a release of pent-up energy and a form of relaxation, Sharon then decided to offer knitting classes. Yarns, Etc. in Chapel Hill donated yarns and needles to be used by Family House guests.  Sharon now meets twice a week with guests for a knitting circle, and our guests have told us that the time shared has been both fun and therapeutic.

Sharon’s husband taught educational psychology at UNC and is currently working with athletes as a sports psychologist.  She has three children – a daughter who is an endocrinologist in Charlotte, a daughter who teaches clinical psychology at the University of Tennessee, and a son who has his own business in Raleigh.

We are fortunate to have Sharon Coop serve us and our families as a volunteer!

2010 “Home and Away” House Party, to benefit SECU Family House at UNC Hospitals

Date: Friday, September 24^th, 2010

Time: 6:30 – until……

Location: The Carolina Inn, 211 Pittsboro Street, Chapel Hill, NC, 27516

Cost per person: $125/person or $1,250 for table of ten

Send a check made out to SECU Family House at UNC Hospitals, call 919.932.8004, or register online.

Attire: Cocktail

Activities: Dinner, live music by Risse, dancing, casino, silent and live auction of travel excursions

Click to register online or make a donation toward the event.

As the House Party draws near, we will provide a sneak peek at some of the trips up for bid!

List of 2010 “Home and Away” House Party Sponsors

2010 “Home and Away” House Party Sponsorship Levels and Benefits

HOTEL INFORMATION

The Carolina Inn is overbooked for September 24th, and below is a list
of other local hotels in Chapel Hill.

Aloft Hotel - 919-932-7772

The Franklin Hotel – 919-442-9000

The Hampton Inn – 919-968-3000

Homewood Suites - 919-401-0610

Residence Inn – 919-933-4848

The Siena Hotel – 800-916-8592

Families are absolutely thrilled to be staying in such a beautiful, spacious “home away from home.” They have been moved to express their gratitude and appreciation to the staff in a multitude of ways. One guest gratefully exclaimed upon checkout, “This is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. I feel like I have been staying at a resort – only better, with new friends.”

Guests have demonstrated a sense of pride and ownership about Family House, treating it the way they would their own favorite possessions. They have served as an intimate community to one another, sharing the responsibility of cooking meals, cleaning, and making coffee for other guests in the morning. Some have gathered together for prayer or reflection. Others have huddled in the hearth room, swapping stores, fears, hopes, and dreams, and exchanging the day’s medical news – the heartbreaks and triumphs. They have been each other’s best support.

Reflecting on the first weeks of being open, Operations Manager Janice Ross says, “It is gratifying to see what a difference this House is making. People have cried with relief and gratitude. It is wonderful to be here.”

SECU Family House looks forward to accommodating more guests in the future as we expand our capacity to serve families in desperate need of a uniquely peaceful and welcoming place.

Bill is survived by his loving wife, Gray; a son, William G. Clark IV, and his wife, Tiffany; a daughter, Gray Clark Stoughton and her husband, Tommy; many grandchildren and nieces; and a score of loving friends and admirers.

The courtyard at SECU Family House has been named for the Clarks, in honor of Bill’s dad and granddad, William G. Clark, Jr., and William G. Clark, respectively. The impression Bill Clark made here at Family House will endure in the gratitude that it inspires among our patients and family members who gather here for many years to come.

“The BCBSNC Foundation wants to help ensure that any family, regardless of financial circumstance, enjoys the comforts, support, and services provided by SECU Family House,” says Kathy Higgins, BCBSNC Foundation President. “We are pleased to support both SECU Family House at UNC Hospitals and the vulnerable populations that it serves.”

Other recent major gifts that have propelled the campaign to its successful close include an Economic Development Initiative of $171,500 sponsored by Congressman David Price (NC-09); anonymous gifts of $50,000 and $25,000; a $50,000 contribution from the Leith Automotive Family; a $25,000 in-kind gift of office equipment from Corporate Express; a gift of $35,000 from David and Carol Callahan; and a gift of $25,000 from Steve Mills, in memory of his wife, Nancy Kitt Mills.

These combined gifts drove the campaign past its stated goal of $7.5M and provided an operating reserve to carry us through part of our first year. They have also made up for unanticipated building expenses on the 33,000 square foot facility. The SECU Family House board of directors inherits a brand new, beautiful 40-bedroom hospitality house that carries absolutely no debt. We have a small reserve and the beginnings of a healthy endowment. We hope to be well on the way to securing our own financial health while contributing to the health and healing of so many families in medical crisis.

Three hundred and fifty guests joined President Katie Early and President-elect Tom Shea, MD, in the William G. III and Gray Clark Courtyard to celebrate the House’s mission, bless its activities, and listen to remarks from those who provided the primary institutional gifts to the $8.2M capital and endowment campaign.

Those who shared remarks about what drove their support of SECU Family House include David King (Chairman, SECU Foundation), Representative Verla Insko (NC General Assembly, D-56, Orange County), Dr. William L. Roper, (CEO, UNC Health Care System), and Bob Greczyn (Chairman, Blue Cross and Blue Shield of North Carolina Foundation).

The final speaker was retired Marine Colonel Jack Carroll, a recent recipient of a bone marrow transplant, who had spent the past five weeks at the House. Jack brought the assembled crowd to a standing ovation. On his 100th post-transplant day, Jack spoke passionately about the excellent care he had received at UNC Hospitals—at every level—and assured those present that Family House is an integral and essential part of that care. His concern, as patient, had been primarily for the comfort and security of his wife Sara. Family House had provided a sense of psychological well-being for them both as they moved toward increased physical wholeness and healing.

The moving celebration concluded with a ceremonial cutting of the ribbon around the columns in the Clark Courtyard. Despite Bill Clark’s recent death (see more about Bill Clark in the Donor News section), Gray Clark and her son, Bill Clark IV, and daughter, Gray Clark Stoughton, as well as several of Bill and Gray Clark’s grandchildren, were on hand for the ceremony.

UNC Health Care sponsored the entire event, providing all the food and the transportation to and from Family House from nearby parking provided by St. Thomas More Catholic Church.

Rockin’ for the House follows last year’s event, Raising the Roof, which launched the public phase of our campaign to build our 40-bedroom hospitality house and raised $400,000. The historic Carolina Inn in Chapel Hill served as backdrop once again as 320 guests enjoyed a cocktail reception, dinner, and a program that included an inspiring talk from Jim Calandro, a recent UNC patient and Family House guest. After dinner, guests danced to the live music of the Reality Band, and got a little taste of Vegas at the live casino.

As a colorful side-bar and theme to the evening, ten local artists provided hand-painted rocking chairs that were auctioned off prior to and after dinner. The rocking chairs captured the essence of the comforts of home offered to patients and guests at Family House who are in sore need of a dose of it.

Kudos to the coordinating committee and the local artists who painted the rockers (see below). Last but not least, we want to express our lasting gratitude to the evening’s primary sponsors, David and Carol Callahan. David and Carol agreed early on to underwrite the costs of the event, and without this couple’s generous participation, there would have been no gala.

Yvonne Knutson, the evening’s indefatigable organizer and planner, stopped long enough after the meal to reflect on the evening’s success: “It was a great evening for SECU Family House. The Carolina Inn served as host to approximately 300 generous supporters of Family House. We had great success and I expect it to increase each year.”

We look forward to next year’s event. Thank you—one and all—for your hard and gratifying work on behalf of SECU Family House—and thanks to all those who came out and “rocked the night away.”

Ckick here to see the Rockin for the House photo gallery »

Rockin’ for the House Coordinating Committee:
Yvonne Knutson, Co-chair
Carol Richards, Co-chair
Sue Anna
Lee Blackman
Christy Bowman
Melrose Fisher
Margie Haber
Eva Higgins
Maggie Morris
Susan Skolsky

Event Sponsors

Presenting Sponsor, $35,000
David & Carol Callahan

Platinum Sponsor, $25,000
UNC Hospitals

Gold Sponsor, $10,000
Anonymous
The Furniss Family & Friends

Silver Sponsor, $5,000
Atma Hotel Group
Roche

Bronze Sponsor, $2,500
Gracia Barry
Mary and Dale Carey
Patricia A. Gerrick
Yvonne Knutson
Lee Iron & Metal
Local Government Federal Credit Union
Ann Petersen
Dr. Uday & Laura Reebye
Steve and Susan Skolsky

Hosts, $1,500
Bill & Lee Blackman
Melrose Fisher
Dr. Mark Knelson & Mary Beth Boening
Resolute Building Company
Carol & Steve Richards
SECU (State Employees’ Credit Union)
Tom Shea
Jeff & Janis Tillman

Local Artists Who Donated Rocking Chairs:
Lynda Baddour
Claire Broyhill
Barbie Dalton
Mary Moore
Susan Neufeld
Dana Pearsall
Maryanne Roper
Ellen Schiffman
Mary Webb
Ralph Wileman
Lee Wollman

Next year’s annual dinner is planned once again for late September at the Carolina Inn. Stay tuned for details here or at our Web site (secufamilyhouse.org)

During their shared shift, they not only serve as greeters, hosts, concierges, and overall managers to the patients and families staying at the House, they also serve as mentors, in many ways, to the staff. Bringing with them nearly 20 years of experience as weekend managers at the Ronald McDonald House of Chapel Hill next door, Ed and Deb have met families, managed difficult situations, and found solutions to real challenges. This experience informs how they approach their service here and makes a big difference. As the Family House staff dedicates itself to figuring out systems that work well for the activity of the House, the Gerhardts often chime in with advice, worst-case scenario stories, or ideas that might be helpful. In many ways, they help Operations Manager, Janice Ross, from having to reinvent the wheel.

In addition to their significant volunteer service in both of Chapel Hill’s hospital hospitality houses, Deb teaches in the Chapel Hill/Carrboro School system and Ed runs his own home inspection business, Surelock Homes Inspection.

SECU Family House is grateful to Ed and Deb for their contributions so far and looks forward to what we hope will be a long-term relationship.